On January 29, 2007, a Fordham junior decided to start a blog.  It wasn't a career blog, like the ones I teach my classes about.  It was about college life--the gossip and campus micro-celebrity, micro-infamay, controversy...   The whole campus was reading, and so were many of the recent alumni.

The administration was reading, too...  probably not happily either.  Oh, it was never really anything that bad--but it was up for all to see.  The internet provided a window into the world campus administrators always knew existed, but never really got to read about in public on a daily basis. 

The popularity of the blog was unprecendented.  There wasn't a student on campus who didn't know about it.  It became part of the weekend routine to e-mail the blog with the latest tales of collegiate debauchery.  It's popularity even spread to young alumni...  and I'll admit, at least one faculty member.

Sixteen months and 423 posts later, a captivated campus--a community, rather, read FUrez Hilton's final post.  He graduated and decided to say goodbye.

I'll repost some of that message below, because it was really touching, but what I really want to bring up is the question of what a blog like this means for communication between students and administration.

I talked to a school administrator the other day about Facebook.  She said she had never been on it because she was concerned about potentially viewing illegal activities .  What would she do if she saw photos of students drinking?

So, acknowledging that students probably do post photos of themselves drinking, rather than accept the reality of college life--which no doubt she participated in when she was in school--or engage in conversation with the students about it in an open way, she chose not to engage at all.  She chose not participate in a medium of communication used by 95% of the students on the campus, because she might see some photos of kids drinking. 

This is why students don't visit counseling centers, they don't meet with their class deans, and they don't show up at the career office--because at the end of the day, most administrators go home to a life outside of campus and would rather pretend that the student's life on campus--in all its gory reality, didn't exist. 

Well, thanks to FUrez Hilton, it couldn't be escaped.  I applaud the author for being authentic and true to themselves the entire time, no matter what anyone thought. 

What I hope is that future Fordham voices that are magnified by social media, no matter how controversal, are engaged.  If I were some of the administrators spoken about on this blog, I'd start my own blog.  I'd give the student body some insight into the difficulties of my position, because, frankly, it's not an easy task.  Students at every college are going to feel like it's a case of "us vs. them".  That's only going to get worse when you only hear the voice of "us" and never from "them".   

Let this whole FUrez era be a lesson in communication--that one student was singlehandedly able to captivate a campus of thousands, to help build a sense of community--all with a dinky little Blogspot blog.  I hope that school administrations all over think hard about how they talk with (not to, or at) their students, and what they can learn from what they're hearing.  Why do the students complain?  What are they upset about?  What makes them happy?   If I were an administrator, I'd look at this blog like the best thing that could ever happen to my relationship with my students--because it would have given me the chance to understand, to participate.  I doubt it will be looked at that way, and that a collective sigh of relief will be breathed, and an opportunity will be missed.

And now, FUrez's last post...  Best of luck!

"This is the hardest thing I will ever have to do in my life. Scratch that, adopting an asian baby with Eric Stafstrom will be the hardest thing, and that's because there are damaging pictures of him on Facebook. This website started as a joke and a way for me to vent my frustrations with the silliness of this Univeristy. (hint: I havent gone to bed since parent appreciation dinner and there may be mispellings. i will correct them later. get off my nuts.)

To my babies in the underclasses: please behave next year, but not too much. Make sure you carry my legacy on and question authority. Please don't be afraid to be yourselves. My biggest regret at Fordham is that I didn't come out earlier. I know this isn't the case for everyone, because not EVERYONE is a homo, but it's an example of waiting too long to enjoy yourslef. The past two years have been teh most liberating of my life, because I finally realized that A) everyone knew I was a homo, and B) I was finally comfortable in my own skin. Dont let the small mindedness of Fordham's silly administration or ignorant classmates stop you from doing whatever is in your hearts. If you want to go to a bar in the city, GO. If you want to tell the girl of your dreams that she is the most beautiful girl on the face of the earth, GO. If you want to make out with a guy with a bad reputation, FUCKING GO. You have four years before you are held accountable for your actions. All I ask is that you take advantage of it. Please. Make FUrez proud.

Also, when you see lost freshmen next year, take them under your wings and show them the way. When I was a wee freshman, i was walking aimlessly in the bronx with a group of fifty (as you all do as freshmen) and a group of upper classmen shouted to us from their apt to come upstairs and they told us where to go and where to have fun. This resonated with me all four years of college. Look out for each other. God knows the administration isn't. Casino night? Come on.

To my seniors graduating with me: It's been a fucking honor attending this university with you for the past four years. Every single one of you has taught me something. Even the ones who hate me and think I am the cockiest piece of shit in the world. It's true. I am a cocky piece of shit, but it's you who have kept me grounded through my rise to the top. I can't believe I just wrote "rise to the top". Like i said, I am a god damn mess right now. To the people I didn't get a chance to meet: I wish you the best. To the people who were there for me through all of my ridiculous bullshit: THANK YOU. I have faith that the class of 2008 will do great things. Actually, I don't need faith, because I know that you are all fucking superstars. Every single one of you. Even if it's figuring out how to steal bottles of alcohol from drinking establishments; that alone has demonstrated your commitment to a good life and your inginuity. You are all fucking fabulous. JEsus christ it's 7:24 at the moment and I'm writing this.

To most of the administration and faculty: Thank you. The jesuits have kept it real all four years and shown dedication to their ministry and calling in life. You are all superstars as well. To the members of the administration who feel the need to compensate for their own issues throughout their lives via their positions of power: take a good look at your job descriptions and rethink what you're doing in your offices. Know that you are here for US. You are only employed because students attend this university. Try and work with us. I know the sections of administration that are viewed unfavorably by the Fordham community (this includes faculty) are those that cater directly to students. You wer eall up Dean Grey's ass at the JASPA Convention and were all consequently promoted to offices of high power. Use your power for GOOD. The students are totally willing to compromise, but you need to be too. You have a great amount of egg on your faces from numerous debacles this year. Included: SPRING WEEKEND, the counseling and health services here, and your general attitudes towards the people who pay your salaries. This University is not the one from Animal House. You don't need to act like Dean Vernon Warner. These kids just want to graduate and get an education and have fun doing it. Don't rain on their parade.

 

Addressing the issue of succession of this blog: I honestly feel that it was a great moment in time, and that it shoudl end here. I know my cunty fans will try and replicate it. I encourage that. Send me your efforts. If I feel someone is following the same path I did, I will post the link here. However, I'm a bitch and my ego is huge, and the odds of me thinking your humorous writings are worthy of the entire Fordham community (alumni included) are slim. Understand that I'm not ruling it out.

I'm crying kind of because this is it. Please know that I love you all, and I will always be watching. Thank you for the words of encouragement and teh death threats. They all mean a lot ot me. The encouragement more than the death threats, yes, but I love you all. I approved a comment thanking me a few posts back saying they felt like they were included in a big inside joke, and that made my day, because all I've ever wanted is for everyone to feel like they are apart of the Fordham community. I have been listening to depressing friendship music all day and night and realized that Fordham University was the best decision I have ever made. Every memory I have from this place will be cherished, and I will never forget any of them. To any of you students who know how to party and go out on the nights when the Ram Van stops at 12: I have a swell apartment and you all have an open invitation to stay WHENEVER. I'm serious. My facebook sends all messages to my phone, so just let me know, and you can crash on my couch.

In the words of Eva Peron: My greatest fear in life is to be forgotten. Don't forget me. I will never forget you. I love and respect every single one of you.


xoxoxo,

FUREZ"

I just got this because I'm a Citibank cardholder:

Dear Charles Odonnell,

I want you to be among the first to know about the bold steps we are taking at Citi to be the premier, global, fully integrated financial services firm.

Our objective is to create for our customers an experience in which services are seamless, payments and transfers effortless, and distances meaningless. My commitment - and the commitment of everyone at Citi- is to work tirelessly around the world and around the clock to deliver outstanding value and service as we continue to earn your trust and that of every customer we serve.

We are proud of our enduring strength as a global financial institution, striving to successfully meet the needs of clients like you in more than 100 countries. As always, we look forward to continuing to serve you - wherever you are and wherever you need to be.

Sincerely,

Vikram Pandit
CEO, Citi

So, um, yeah...  thanks Vik.  That was really...  um... bold of you. 

So, there's a possible practical joke going on around me... or something that could be totally real... I'm not sure, but this morning, I was thinking about what the upside of believing people is. Clearly, there's an upside to being a cynic. If it turns out to be a joke, I can bask in the fact that I was too smart to fall for it. If it turns out to be true, then I feel like I didn't lose much because the situation was pretty unbelievable anyway--I certainly don't look foolish for not believing something.

That made me think about faith in general. What's the upside of believing in anything that you can't prove? God, love, the semantic web ... there are a lot of things we can't touch, taste, see, hear or smell that we rely on faith for, but why bother? If they turn out to be true... gravy. If not, at least we didn't lose anything or waste time.

That's the point, though... if we're talking about losing something or wasting time, we're talking about investment. In a startup, it's clear what the investment is. Someone gives you money, you give them upside... but what exactly is the investment and payoff for having faith in something non-financial... faith in love, in God, or whatever?

I answered this question in the shower at NYSC this morning, because I thought about the opposite. What if I didn't make those bets? That would mean I "wasn't invested"... and while I'm totally playing with words here, I don't want to live a life where I'm not invested--and that's really what you are when you don't have faith. You're not really betting on anything, really. You're just going what what you have and not assuming or beliving in anything more

Being invested in your own life has upside, especially as an active investor, because you get to share in life's profits--joy, laughter, bliss, etc... a lot more than you would if you were on the sidelines. Sure, there may be some quarters where we miss earnings and our stock takes a tumble, but over the long run, I'm a big believer that you need to be invested in your life... that you have to take risks of faith--in people, in ideas.

I have faith that Barack Obama is a good man with good intentions and the organizational skills to make things work better. By having faith, and voting for him, I'm looking at possibilities and potential for this country with a more open mind... maybe inspiring others to do the same. When masses of people believe in the possibility of change, it's funny how change happens.

I have faith that I'll find someone who will love and appreciate me... and who'll want to work together to with me to build a great relationship. Is it possible that it will never happen? Sure... and I'll be really disappointed, but by being positive and open to the idea, I'm also open and more aware of the people around me who may have that interest or know someone who might. If I don't have that faith, I'll be closed... I'll probably miss someone or be unable to connect with someone.

I have faith in something or someone larger than myself... That there's a powerful force for good in this world... a reason for being. If I just thought we were soulless lumps of chemicals, I'd be driven simply for chemical optimization, rather than trying to make a positive impact in the world around me, even at my own expense. By beliving that we are more than just bodies and neurons and synapses, I seek deper connections, and whether or not I find them, I am better for the process of seeking.

I have faith in my startup, Path 101. I know the odds. I know the day we run out of cash before we get more funding. I know that we're in the same space as a lot of other larger players. I believe we have a great idea and can build a passionate service around people-powered career discovery. I believe it's a much needed service and we can change people's lives by helping to give them direction and help support the discovery of their passions. By having this faith, I am more outwardly positive. I will attract more deals this way, more talent, and help build excitement--all key incredients to success.

So, while you might think it's just easier not to expect anything out of life, you're missing the equity upside and the risks really aren't as great as you think.

From Wikipedia:

"In quantum physics, the Heisenberg uncertainty principle is the statement that locating a particle in a small region of space makes the momentum of the particle uncertain; and conversely, that measuring the momentum of a particle precisely makes the position uncertain."

Basically, what this says is that you only know where something is or in what direction that it's traveling, but you can't know both.  This intuitively makes some sense.  If I throw a baseball, you can snap a picture of it, but the clearer the picture is, to the point where it appears frozen in mid-air, the less you can tell where it was going.  A blurred picture of a ball, however, clearly has some direction, but you often can't actually tell where the ball was at the moment the picture was snapped.

I've had a number of conversations with people lately about how people change over time.  This is an especially important consideration when it comes to getting into a long term relationship.  You may like someone now, but how do you know they won't change on you over time?  Or, how do you know if people can change the things you seem to clash on?

A lot of it has to do with the how much of a person's personality is innate, static.. an unchangeable core drive particular to them that will permeate everything they do and all their interactions with others.  This is what I think of, relative to Heisenberg, as someone's "position".  You may think I am an easygoing guy, but that's only at this given moment in time.  The more detailed you get in your perception of exactly how I am easygoing, in what situations, what my limitations are, etc., the less you can bet on whether or not it will continue in the future.  Not only does the future bring with it lots of unpredictable situations--situations that might test the limits of my easygoingness, but the future also has a cumulative effect.  The harsh realities of life my harden me and I may become more difficult over time.  I think it is likely I will resist this better than most people, but when you start talking about the momentum of the 57 or so years remaining in my life, it's difficult to nearly impossible to determine what my position will be. 

You can, however, describe that momentum.  I'm a big believer in one's ability to guide future decisions about your own life with a strong hand.  I can decide, and I have, that I will always attempt to avoid stressing the small stuff.  Whether I will be successful, what I will learn by doing that, what kind of a personality that will result in, etc. is unclear.  However, my future actions are a series of individual choices--choices I do have some control over and can construct a framework for decision making that I can use consistently going forward.

So, for example, a couple can agree to strive to communicate well.  They can, with some accuracy, describe a momentum of communication.  Communicating is a verb.  You cannot be communicative unless you are actually in the mode of openly communicating.  That's not an innate trait... it's an action.  It's something that people decide to do.  Where that communication will lead, whether those people will communicate the same positions going forward is impossible to determine, but at least you can, with much better accuracy, tell how you plan to act.

I'm largely unconcerned with people's position when I meet them.  I don't really care much about who you are, because, with every passing second, who you are is a thing of the past.  You are what you are doing now, and what you are doing now is already over.  I want to know what you will choose to do--how you will choose to live. 

It sounds overly simplistic, but I think the best relationships, be them romantic, platonic, professional, otherwise, are the result of a decision--a decision to act in a way that promotes a great relationship.  It's not about whether you are inherently respectful, engaging, or interested, it's whether you choose to respect, engage, and take interest.  I really believe that, so long as they're attracted to each other, just about any two people should be able to get together and half an absolutely fantastic, exhilarating life together--and that falling short on that is largely a product of lack of commitment on one more both sides to do the actions necessary to promote a good relationship.  Sound too easy?  It's easier than you think, if you make it.

I heard the term "100% commitment" yesterday.

What does that mean, especially for an entrepreneur?

I think anyone would agree that starting a company means "100% commitment", but I often think it's sort of a loaded term, and often used as an excuse to fall down on your personal responsibilities to others.

First of all, the number itself is quite silly.  100%  Why not 110%?  And what would 95% even be?  Pursuing a biz dev contract but just not signing it?  Or signing it late? 

What about last Friday night?  I had two softball games, one of which was for Return Path's team.  Should I have stayed late at work that night?  Return Path gave us free space.  To me, playing nice with people in an office I'm not paying to be at is just being neighborly, and when you're a startup, you're often going to have to depend on as much free help as you can get. 

Does that make me less committed to Path 101 because I wasn't at my desk? And if you can't measure committment by hours at the desk, then what exactly do we measure it in?  Personal sacrifice?  I love what I do.  It's not "hard", not matter what time I leave the office, because I'm passionate about the idea.  Sacrifice, to me, would be trying to max out my potential salary by being an investment banker.  (No offense to bankers.) 

Plus, we raised angel money... and so while there's some serious opportunity cost in terms of current cash comp, it's not like I put my house at risk... yet, anyway.  Does that make me less committed because I didn't have to do that?  One thing we told our angel investors is that we were raising so we could focus on this full-time... that having other tech jobs would really make the product suffer.  If we were bootstrapping, and had to get other jobs, we'd be less focused, but with all of our own capital at risk, would be be more committed?  Can you be less focused and more committed?  That makes no sense.

Unfortunately, I feel like way that many people use it is as an excuse to fall short on personal commitments.  We commit ourselves to a job and we think that releases us from our obligations as real people--to family, friends, significant others, etc.  Maybe this makes me less committed, but I am a real person first, entrepreneur second.  I don't see my family as often as I did before, but I still make it a point to see them. 

Same with friends.  I've severely pared down my social life, but I still need to get out of the office and play some ball when I can.  And I will defintely be kayaking at the boathouse, even if its just a weekend afternoon.  I'll stay home Saturday nights to make sure I'm out on the water during the day. 

I'm not shutting myself in a hole to launch this business--if nothing else because its these people and these activities that gave me the support, insight, and inspiration to start this business in the first place. If nothing else, particularly for a user-centric web service, if you start severing your human connections, you're going to quickly lose the ability to create user value.  You'll lose your initial audience--the people you've been there for and maintained connections to--the ones who will go to bat for you inviting their friends to the service because you showed up at their birthday party--even if you had to show up way late because you were wireframing new features... and you have to leave early because you didn't finish. 

It's the same with love.  Am I an ideal candidate to date right now?  Well, if you need to go out five nights a week at 7PM and spend a ton of money on entertainment, well, no, probably not.  But am I closed off to emotionally connecting to someone?  Far from it.  In fact, in a time like this is when I probably most need that kind of connection--one single person who will care about and support me... that I can go to and share my day with, or escape from it if need be. 

And, in the same way, I want to be with someone who is as equally involved in their own passions as well.  If you walk out at work at 6PM and then have nothing else in your life or don't commit any other effort to it, I won't have much of an interest in that.  Would commiting to someone emotionally make me less focused on my business and less committed to it?  Does entrepreneurship require that you unplug from the rest of the world--sever your connections and cease being open and vulnerable to connections? 

I think every entrepreneur needs to go about this doing it in a way that reflects who they are.  If anything, it's my connection to the world around me that makes me a better entrepreneur.  The back and forth flow of ideas, feedback, support, opportunities--cut those off and then this just becomes a horserace--who can just outrun the next guy. 

Maybe if you're selling some kind of almost commoditized enterprise security software product with a 6 month technical advantage, then maybe you need to run yourself and your horse into the ground, but in a world of disrupted markets,  appropriate execution, and social networks, I believe the lines of personal commitment and commitment to your business should get blurred and are not mutual exclusive.  Did David Karp succeed in creating a great product because he stayed up later than the next guy with the next best blogging platform?  I highly doubt success will be a function of hours worked in his case.

If anything, I see a lot of products and services suffering because people aren't getting out from behind the desks.  They're not living and loving and they're losing touch with the very audience that they're building a product for. 

In a way, I've been committed to Path 101 for ten years, because it's been that long since I started counseling my friends on their careers, running internship and mentoring programs, and a little later starting to teach.  I live out my startup everyday.  If you have me in your life, you get Path 101--they're one and the same...  and in the same way, because I have Path 101, I get my audience...  and need it...   the day I stop interacting with and caring for the people around me is the day this company goes down the tubes.

You're either committed to your life or you're not--you can't slice it up so easily and your career should not prevent you from being a person--it should enhance who you are as a person.

Right now, Gary Vee's book is #57 on the Amazon top sellers list.  Ironically, he's ahead of the Black Swan, the 7 Habits of Highly Effective people, and Getting Things Done.  You want to talk about improbable, but effective...  look no further.

So why did I buy the book?  Like I said before, I don't even drink.

It's not about the book and it's not about Gary Vee.  It's about the idea that, by connecting directly with your audience, being authentic and customer focused, and using social media tools, even a brick and mortor biz like a wine store in New Jersey can create an experience bigger than themselves AND make real dollars all the the same time.

I've talked to Gary, shook his hand, and he bought me food.  There's a real live person behind this who really wants to see his customers have a fantastic experience--not just with his brand, but with their lives.

To me, buying the book is a vote.  It's a statement to every other company I'm forced to deal with on a day-to-day basis that I want the Gary Vee treatment.  I want to be spoken to honestly.  I want to be treated not only like a human, but treated like a great person.  And, I want to have fun. 

If Gary Vee's book shoots up to #1 on the Amazon bestseller list even before it gets released, it will be a real eye opener for other businesses. 

So, please, do us all a favor...  Go to your computers, open up your browser and yell, "I'm as mad as hell, and I'm not going to take it anymore...   and spend 13 bucks (plus shipping) to support the phenomenon."  You don't have to buy 3... just one will do.

If you don't know who Gary is... just watch this interview he did with Tara Hunt.

Right now, Gary Vee's book is #57 on the Amazon top sellers list.  Ironically, he's ahead of the Black Swan, the 7 Habits of Highly Effective people, and Getting Things Done.  You want to talk about improbable, but effective...  look no further.

So why did I buy the book?  Like I said before, I don't even drink.

It's not about the book and it's not about Gary Vee.  It's about the idea that, by connecting directly with your audience, being authentic and customer focused, and using social media tools, even a brick and mortor biz like a wine store in New Jersey can create an experience bigger than themselves AND make real dollars all the the same time.

I've talked to Gary, shook his hand, and he bought me food.  There's a real live person behind this who really wants to see his customers have a fantastic experience--not just with his brand, but with their lives.

To me, buying the book is a vote.  It's a statement to every other company I'm forced to deal with on a day-to-day basis that I want the Gary Vee treatment.  I want to be spoken to honestly.  I want to be treated not only like a human, but treated like a great person.  And, I want to have fun. 

If Gary Vee's book shoots up to #1 on the Amazon bestseller list even before it gets released, it will be a real eye opener for other businesses. 

So, please, do us all a favor...  Go to your computers, open up your browser and yell, "I'm as mad as hell, and I'm not going to take it anymore...   and spend 13 bucks (plus shipping) to support the phenomenon."  You don't have to buy 3... just one will do.

If you don't know who Gary is... just watch this interview he did with Tara Hunt.

Do you react to your world or does your world react to you?

Not only in the startup world, but in life, we are faced with uncertainties...about strategy decisions, rightness of fit regarding new hires, and about the future. There are natural limits to our ability to information gather, and so often times, we are faced with a gap--how much I know about this decision versus how much I would like to or even feel I need to know to commit to a choice. How you approach that gap is a major factor in how you wind up living your life.

Some people just do the best they can. They recognize the inherent imperfection in the system, work hard to research all the angles and then when they feel like they've exhausted all the angles, make a choice. They probably take longer than the average person but at least they feel comfortable with their choices. This type of decisionmaking probably works best in an established, stable environment--whether its a company or even whether its a relationship. In a big, established company, there are probably proven methods for gathering more data and there's little chance that waiting a little longer to make a decision is going to be the end of the world. Similarly, the distracting routines of an established relationship can often buy you some time to figure out the right next steps. And why wouldn't you dwell on decisions longer...you've got so much structure in place and potentially at risk...houses, kids, cars, just...stuff.

But in new relationships--ones with people, companies, markets, etc.--you often can't get more data and its possible that you can't even really afford to spend lots of time dwelling on decisions. That's because your relationship is really all you have. Routines are too new or maybe nonexistent, so you can't hide behind them. In a company, there may only be one relevent next step to think about, and all eyes are on you to make a call. This highlights the effect of how you make a decision can impact relationships, especially given the emotional investment that new relations and new companies carry with them. If you're too quick to make a call, and you appear to ignore th gravity of the decision, you could give the appearance of not caring or not being as invested as other stakeholders. Take too long and you'll cause doubt--especially among the people who have clarity of vision. If you're the last one to see what everyone else sees, how long will you continue to be seen as a leader?

This is where approach and determination play huge roles. It's difficult to me "more right" before you can see more about the direction of an outcome, no matter how much time you spend on it. That's why I've always spent a lot more time and energy trying to achieve success AFTER decisions have already been made. Whether you're choosing a certain visualization for your user interface or deciding to get into a long distance relationship, the one thing you can definitely commit yourself to is to make something work, regardless of what it takes. It's the freshman roommate approach. In college, you get stuffed into a room with a stranger. You have no idea if it will work out or not, what the person is like, what their habits are. That's the thing. I think if you take the perspective that their habits are unalterably x or y and that the outcome even depends on any of this information, you will ultimately fail. The reason is that if there's anything you can count on in life, its change and uncertainty.

The only thing you can do in the face of that is to decide, ahead of time, that you are determined to be successful. You will not move out mid-semester. You will not leave a broken UI up on your site. You will not let distance, emotional or physical, get in the way of building a good relationship.

That is not to say that you should bash your head against a brick wall over something that just isn't working, but I think a lot of times the reason why things don't work is because we're not open to them working. We want things to work a certain way, so we can't accept alternative outcomes. We can't relate to different kinds of people in new ways because of stereotypes. We aren't open to being moved and changed by others.

Its interesting that the more you think of life as static, of facts set in stone, of things inherently good or bad, workable or not, the more static you become...only finding success when you're able to put your square peg in a square hole. The more you think of life and your future as to be impacted you, the more you'll also be impacted and changed by life as well.