Matias was institutionalized after trying to set a car on fire with his children inside in Pennsylvania, police said. Family members said it was only after one of his sons said goodbye to his sister that Matias changed his mind and decided not to torch the car.

It was not clear why he continued to have visitation rights.

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Blogged with Flock

There's a man sitting across from me reading "The Bus Driver Who Wanted to be God". This small paperback has a picture of some little figure, perhaps the distant cousin of a WeeMee, shooting himself in the head with the bullet exiting out the top in a small burst of splat. So, if I seem distracted this morning, its because I'm keeping a close eye on that guy for sudden movements.

There's a short girl standing next to me reading a a magazine article about traumatic brian injury. Very few other people are reading. I'd love to see an analysis of time of day, whether a person is reading, catching up on zzz's, playing video games or listening to their iPod or some combo.

This train is unquestionably a zzz train. I'd say that 60% of the people in this train have their eyes closed. It's 7:20AM and I'm on my way to Fordham to teach class. There's a banana in my tummy, but I'll def need my MetRx shake when I get back to the office at 10:30AM.

I gotta remember to tell my students to allow anonymous comments on their blogs.

There are two City Year girls on the train. They're in there big red winter coats. Those coats look pricey. I wonder what percentage of City Year donations go to buy coats for volunteers. Couldn't they just get hats? I never see them actually working or sponsoring anything...just collecting money. What does City Year do anyway? If my kid ever wanted to stand on the street and collect money for charity, I'd hand them a donation that covers there summer (if I had it) and tell them to go be an intern in a program management or policy making department within a non-profit or government sponsored social program. I think that's where you make a much bigger impact, especially since most donations come from corporations anyway.

I just switched to the 6 train at Union Square... I plenty of time to get to Grand Central. Look, there are Dominican Academy girls on this train...haha. DA!

Girls from DA were the first girls you met in Regis because we had a joint fundraiser with them in October... a Walk-a-Thon around the Upper East Side and the park, which basically meant that everyone in Regis dated a DA girl in freshman year. But I was cool because my DA girl was a sophomore. She taught me who the Ramones were. I feel like I told this story before.

This guy just walked onto the train. He's a dead ringer for Chin Ming Wang...and he's wearing a Yankee cap. Only... he's obviously a high school student.

I kinda feel like we have bigger fish to fry.  At least this model is pretty well covered up.  If I had a daughter, I'd rather her look at ads like this in Times Square than ads of half-naked women in sexually suggestive poses.  Isn't that a much worse objectification of women?

I dunno about you, if this ad makes you want to shoot things at women's crotches, I sort of feel like maybe you had some issues before you saw it.  Me personally, it makes me wish for snow.

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You know what the Fake Reach is... You've either done it or expected someone to do it.

You're out at lunch with Bill Gates. He invited you to join him to get your expertise on social media. The bill comes.

You do the Fake Reach.

You have absolutely no intention to contribute any money to this meal and all social ettiquette rules dictate that he should treat. Still, you don't want to seem too entitled or expectant, so you fake willingness to pay just to acknowledge their gesture of paying.

You wait for them to waive you off...

"No, no... I got it."

"You sure?"

"Yeah, my pleasure..."

"Oh, thanks...I got it next time."

Ever been on the other side of a date where you knew you were paying or being paid for and the Fake Reach was used?

Giselle sneaks away from Tom Brady to go to lunch with you and the bill comes for your meals. Does Giselle even carry money? What would be the point? Does she need to pay anywhere for anything?

Still, she's gotta do the Fake Reach. Lord knows, given some of the outfits she wears, where she'd even reach, but still, she's gotta reach. Otherwise, in my book, she's definitely not worth the second date. :)

My friend just had a baby... a completely unexpected baby as of about three months before she was born.  The details of how a baby can be unexpected so far along are unimportant.  The most important thing is that I witnessed a couple so singularly focused on this new little person that it really affected me.  This couple isn't married and they haven't been dating much more than a year or so, but now they're a family.

They're a family because they all chose to be so.  Well, the baby didn't choose, but knowing the parents, I'm pretty confident she would have made the same chose.

Does this couple know every last little detail about each other?  Nope.

Do they know all of their roommate idiosyncrasies, like whether there's drinking from the carton or balls of hair left in the shower?  Doubtful.

But this little person just seem to make all that insignificant  Maybe you're a match on paper, maybe you're not.  Bottom line is that you've got two people dedicated to figuring it out for the sake of another.

When I think of it that way, it doesn't seem like such a stretch to think that two people should be able to figure things out if they just do it for the sake of each other.  Love shouldn't be so hard and there's certainly too much stuff we let get in the way of it.

It seems like most of us clutter up our minds and our hearts with truly insignificant crap.  We're not good at reduction.  We can always think of more things to worry about, to ponder, to get excited about, but how often do we focus on less things?

This couple now has one thing to think about, and all of the sudden, their life, rather than being complicated by this beautiful baby, now seems so simple. 

They don't need a 72-point eHarmony diagnostic to tell them if they're a match.  They don't need to treat the other person like a discounted cash flow model--calculating whether or not they'll be able to support them in the lifestyle and social status that they're accustomed to.  They don't need congressional approval from the congress of friends in their life--mostly temporary people who have a nearly non-existent stake in the outcome of their lives and who probably won't be around for half of it.

We live in an age where information, in addition to informing us, pollutes us.  We're paralyzed by fear.  Rather than look at our own job security, we watch the unemployment number.  Rather than look at our own budget, we watch the housing foreclosure numbers.  We're so focused on staying at home to watch the consumer confidence index, rather than going out and buying the things we can afford that we really want.  And if we can't afford them, we spend too much time watching what other people have to appreciate the things we do have.

Its funny, too, when you think about what people choose to optimize for.  A lot of people decide that they'd rather be focused on careers rather than family.  Given the empirical evidence, I'd say that you have a lot better shot at reaching happiness through living for others than living for your job.  (Of course, I of all people still think its extremely worth it to also focus on reaching happiness in your job, but there's got to be some kind of priorities.)

So what's truly important to you in your life?  How long is that list?

I'd say that if your list is any more than about two or three things, its too damn long.  Focus, people! 

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