A first grade teacher in New York explains to her class that she is a Yankees fan.
She asks her students to raise their hands if they, too, are Yankee fans.
Everyone in the class raises their hand except one little girl.
The teacher looks at the girl with surprise and says, "Janie, why didn't
you raise your hand?"

"Because I'm not a Yankee's fan," she replied.

The teacher, still shocked , asked, "Well, if you are not a Yankee's fan, then who are you a fan of?"

"I am a Met's fan , and proud of it," Janie replied.

The teacher could not believe her ears. "Janie, why are you a Mets' fan?"

"Because my mom is a Mets' fan, and my dad is Mets' fan, so I'm a Mets' fan too!"

"Well," said the teacher in a obviously annoyed tone, "That is no reason for you to be a Mets' fan. You don't have to be just like your parents all of the time. What if your mom were a moron and your dad were a moron, what would you be then?"

"Then ," Janie smiled, "We'd be Yankee fans."

MiniCharlie has the details on how you can see Fred, Brad, Fred's kids Josh and Jessica, and my friend Jen take on lots of nextNYers in dodgeball tonight!  Come out to watch the action!

My little sidebar guy is quickly becoming a MetPal...   I've posted a new message about Met's bizzare fashion sense.

Adam Rubin has another great post at the NY Daily News Mets blog...    This one has the results of an interview he did with David Wright and what Wright's "All Youth" team looks like.  Here's a funny exchange about his choice at third:

Wright picked one player who could beat him out for the starting nod at third base in the All-Star Game.

As Wright began, he said: “Give me Miguel Cabrera.”

“To play outfield?” I asked.

“Is he playing third base?” Wright said.

“Yes.”

“I’ll play outfield,” Wright continued.

Sweet...

The Mets win, and Xavier Nady chips in 4 hits to provide me with some great false hope about my fantasy baseball season, and then I get a great link from Oberkirch:

Ballbug! Memeorandum for baseball!

Cool!

So its Opening Day and the Daily News has a blogger liveblogging the rainy start to the season.

In honor of the season's start, I've updated my SitePal message with a message about the Mets' Kaz Matsui.

BTW...  Tonight is also opening night for my ZogSports softball team.  We're now called "Waiting for Turiansky" in honor of Eric Turiansky, who signed up to play with us last year, but never showed.  Before every game, he'd send us a message saying, "No, seriously, I'm really going to play this time!  Can't wait to meet all of you!"

Eric Turiansky.  Games: 0.   At-bats: 0.  Humor: Priceless.

I'm really getting into DigiCharlie over on my sidebar...     There's a new message...more bald, twice the funny.

I officially volunteer to play left field for the Washington Nationals.  I have years of little league and softball experience.  I'm a contact hitter that hits to the opposite field.  Please contact my agent, Fred Wilson, if interested.

This Soriano "not playing left" garbage is ridiculous.

And I've seen it before...   with good and bad results.  It really just goes to show you the charactor of the player.

Remember Todd Hundley in left?  That was a total disaster, because Hundley didn't even really try.  He didn't want to play out there and you knew it.

Mike Piazza at first?  Well, at least he tried.  He wasn't very good, but he was at least mildly serviceable.  He should have started doing that earlier, though, and maybe he could have been halfway decent.

The best example, though, and a guy I'd have on my team any day of the week is Craig Biggio. 

Craig, go catch.   Okay.

Craig, go play second.  Okay, no problem.

Craig, go play center.  Done.

Craig, go back to second.  Great.

How about A-Rod?  Moves to third to play for a contending team.

So when Soriano says he refuses to play at all rather than play second, I say, sit the bum.  Let him miss a whole season.  Its the same with the Mets and Matsui.  He couldn't field his way out of a hat at short, but it was in his contract that he couldn't move.  He should have offered to move, or they should have said, "Fine, don't play."

Playing baseball professionally for millions of dollars a year is a priviledge.  Not a right.  A lot of guys would take your place in a heartbeat and be just as entertaining and just as productive. 

Soriano, you're no Robin Yount.

As a handful of you were watching Hee-Seop Choi unload off of Dan Wheeler last night, you might have been wondering whether, aside from Dream Team 1, whether there's ever been an international stage where the USA succeeded by not only winning, but also getting people to like us.  Anytime we do anything in front of other countries, we usually either suck or make asses of ourselves. 

I, on the other hand, was thinking, "Hey, wasn't Dan Wheeler on the Mets?  Didn't he have a fantastic year for the Astros last year?  What did we get for him?"

So Wheeler threw 73.1 innings for the 'Stros in 71 games, posting a 2.21 ERA and a WHIP of 0.98.  Opponents batted .204 against him.

The Mets traded him the year before for minor league outfielder Adam Seuss.  You remember Adam Seuss.  He tested positive for steroids last April after the Mets cut him.

So, just to recap, we sent a good reliever to the Astros for a juicehead, and then a year later, we shipped 40% of our rotation for a handful relievers, two of whom, Schmoll and Maine, have looked horrendous in Grapefruit ball.  Good job.

Kirk Rueter retired today.

Among his noted accomplishments, he had a .586 winning pct and is the winningest lefty in Giants history.

But he also accomplished a bizzare statistical feat.

He gave up more runs than he struck people out.

Now, if you're terrible, that's easy to do, but then you don't stay in the majors that long.

But that's really hard to do if you're actually good.... to have batters put that many balls in play and still succeed.  It certainly keeps your fielders on their toes.

In fact, I went and looked it up and I could only find one other pitcher with a career of any note who has also done that.

At first I thought it was about velocity.  So I thought about other junk ballers...  Moyer, Wakefield, Hough, nope, nope, nope.

Not even close.

Ground ball guys?  Quisenberry, Innis?   Quisenberry comes close, but no cigar.

Damn.

Well, I did find two more.  The first one is just amazing.

Cy Young.

Yup, that's right.  What are the odds that Kirk Rueter and Cy Young wind up in any kind of a trivia question answer together?

So, then I thought maybe it had something to do with that era.  So I checked out other notables...  Matthewson, Grove, Waddell, Brown, Ciccote.  Nope. 

Well, so for a moment there, I thought I had the best trivia question ever...  but then I found one more who just ruins it.

Another ground ball guy, and also a former Giant.

Billy Swift.

Fuck you, Billy Swift.  You ruined my trivia question.

This post brought to you by Baseball Reference.

Link: ESPN.com - MLB - Soriano: Nationals have three weeks.

Hmm...   The Nationals have two secondbasemen, Soriano and Vidro.  The Mets have none.

They also have no starting pitching.

You know, when the Mets had like 7 starting pitchers, they could have traded Zambrano or Kris Benson to the Nationals for Jose Vidro or done something to try to get Soriano.

But now we have nothing to trade them but hard throwing bullpen scrubs and the Nats have a good bullpen.

Link: Kaz is well prepared for new challenge this spring -- Newsday.com.

Kaz Matsui is painfully aware of his tenuous situation on the Mets. As the Japanese infielder said yesterday, "I read the papers."

Hopefully, he reads blogs, too.  Kaz, you stink.  You're not worth the $7 million we're paying you.  I'd trade you for a bucket of baseballs and a foam hand if I could.

Kind of a yawner.

I'm glad Pittsburgh won, but you really only had to watch two plays...  the 75 yard run and the reverse.  Their biggest runs were by their quarterback and their best throw came from a wide receiver--and they don't even have Kordell Stewart anymore.

All of Seattle's big plays got called back on penalties.

And, not only did most of the commercials really suck, but didn't it seam like have of them were house ads?  I don't think all the spots sold.  Suckiness exceptions were for the streaking lamb during horse football and for the girl tackling.   

Losing 17-11 to the STV Scrappers wasn't exactly the way the Fordham Young Alumni softball team wanted to open their season, but the guys and gals in maroon made enough of a showing to give fans something to look forward to this season.

Crafty pitching from Brian "Strikes" Cuthbert (FCLC '01) and solid defense kept Fordham in the game through the first three frames.  Alexis "The Cannon" Kramer (FCRH '01) led the glovework, getting four of the team's first six outs in the field, including an unassisted double play in the second.  The outfield of Jason "Wheels" Giannitti (FCRH '02), Kevin "I'm not a small" Rodricks (FCRH '99, GSAS '04) and Larry "Young at Heart" Porco (GSAS '80) turned in some key plays to keep things close.  STV lead after three 3-0.

David "I live on the same block as Charlie" Murphy (FCRH '04) finally put Fordham on the board with a bases loaded two run single, scoring Christine "Nickname to be named later" Schildknecht (CBA '99) and Giannitti.  Charlie "Its my blog, so I make the nicknames" O'Donnell (CBA '01) singled home another run to knot it at three. Kramer than followed with a laser over the left fielder for a two run homer that put Fordham ahead 5-3.

After STV got one back, Fordham tacked on even more runs in the next frame.   The team had eight consecutive hits in the fifth, plating six more runs.  Fordham's females set things up in the inning with Christine "Christine" Guerrero (FCRH '99), Sofia "Steamroller" Won (CBA '03), and Schildknecht all reaching base and scoring.  Jim "The Wright Stuff" Gallagher (CBA '99) drove in a run with his second hit and also scored a run.  Murphy, O'Donnell, and Cuthbert all took part in the barrage, each hitting run scoring singles. 

All the hitting seemed to wear down the Fordham team, though, as the wheels came off the train in the sixth and seventh.  Despite flashy glovework from Nicole "Full Coverage"* Horsford (FCRH '99) at first, the defense didn't keep up, leaving opportunities open for STV to climb back and take a sizable lead with some timely hitting.  When it was finally over, STV would score five in the six and a painful eight in the seventh--13 unanswered runs.  Still, Fordham left the field in good spirits, looking forward to its April 21st practice and next game on Friday the 29th. 

All Fordham alumni are welcome to join us at our practice and afterwards at our regular "Third Thursday" Happy Hour.  T. G. Whitney's on 53rd between 2nd and 3rd.  Practice first, drink after.  Players will be signing autographs at the bar.

* See, the "Full Coverage" nickname is funny only if you know that Nicole works for HIP, the health plan.  She works for a health plan and she plays a great first base.  Clever, no?

Link: New York Daily News - Mets - Bob Raissman's Tuning In: Mex marks spot in Met booth.

Make no mistake, Hernandez, who will work about 110 games, is the star of this show. In TV baseball the main analyst always is. Hernandez has earned top billing. It's not just about his knowledge of the game. Anyone who played big-league baseball for 17 seasons knows the ins and outs. It's his ability to communicate what he knows with clarity, passion and honesty. Hernandez has developed a style.

It ain't white bread and butter.

This team isn't going anywhere.  Fast.

And you know what?  They haven't been going anywhere, for a long time.  This has got to be, given the kind of resources that have been available, the most mismanaged franchise in sports ever.  Now, keep in mind that my knowledge of sports franchise management really only goes back about 15 years, but in that period, since 1990, I'd put up this team against anyone. 

It all started in 1990, when they fired Davey Johnson.  That's when the Mets, in my era, started making decisions that had nothing to do with on the field performance whatsoever. 

Under Johnson, the Mets never finished lower than 2nd, and they won two division titles and one World Series.  That was before realignment, when you basically had to win at least 96 games to get into the playoffs.  Competitive baseball... year in, year out. 

And for that, he got canned.  Right about then, the wheels came off the track.  In came the high-priced flops:  Vince Coleman, Bobby Bo, Bret Saberhagen, Eddie Murray, etc. etc. so on and so forth.  We all know the story there.  Then, a few years later we go to the World Series on the back of a catcher and no outfield.  Oh, and the pitch before Kenny Rogers' last pitch to the Braves?  That was a ball as well.  He couldn't throw a strike with the season on the line TWICE. 

But let's talk about now.  Let's talk about how ridiculous this team is now and what really kills me--the fact that the best players aren't the ones getting the most playing time.  Its become management by politics and it drives me nuts. 

Mike Piazza is batting .243.  Remember Jason Phillips?  He's up at .287.  Now, granted with the few meaningless homeruns Mike's hit, his OPS is within a few points of Phillips, but Phillips is throwing out about 20% of the runners than run against him... and A LOT less people run against him.  Mike is tossing them out at a 10% clip, which means my grandmother has a shot on the back end of a double steal at least.  Oh, and the big difference.  Jason Phillips is making about $300k.  Piazza makes $300k a week... not just during the season... all year. 

But, he's still probably better, at least offensively, than half the catchers in the league.  The problem is, we have him batting 5th.  How about flip flopping him with David Wright, who, out of the regulars, leads the team in slugging, total bases, and is 2nd in RBI.  Plus, the guy draws walks and has a .400+ on base pct.  Well, but you can't do that, because then poor Mike and his $15 million feelings are going to get hurt.  You know what?  For $15 million, they could bat me 10th.  New York City teachers make what Mike makes in a day.  He has no right to complain if they move him in the lineup, move him to another position, or trade him to the Orioles for a bucket of baseballs.  I'm sick of watching this guy leave 5 on a night and ground out into a double play with runners in scoring position.

You know who else they're afraid to bench?  How about Tommy Glavine?  Seven guys have started games for the Mets this year.  Glavine has the 2nd worst ERA and the worst WHIP out of any of them.   After the All-Star break last year, Glavine posted a 4-7 record with a 5.06 ERA.  So, the fact that Aaron Heilman isn't a permanent fixture in this rotation, ahead of Glavine, is a joke.  But, he's Tom Glavine, so you can't send him to the bullpen.  So, we're stuck with him for as long as he wants to keep losing to the Braves.

Speaking of money pits...  How about Kaz Matsui?  First of all, and I brought this up at the time, Miguel Tejada (the Miguel Tejada that drove in 150 runs last year), is making about $12 million a year.  Matsui is making $7 million--a guy who had never batted before in the US, and for $5 million more we could have had the 2002 AL MVP.  A lot of good that extra $5 million did.  This is a guy who, when it was obvious that he couldn't play shortstop in the majors, wouldn't give in on the clause in his contract that said he could only play short.  So, we had to wait until the offseason to switch his position.  But, what's spent is spent, and now we put this yahoo out in the field just because we spent the money.  If it were up to me, I'd hand Cairo the job now and Matsui would never bat again.  Does it say in his contract that we have to play him at all?

Bat Wright 5th.  Trade Glavine, Piazza, and Matsui to anyone who will take them.  Let Heilman pitch every 5th day.  Get Rickey Henderson back...  to teach Jose Reyes the strike zone and how to draw a a walk.  (Hell, he could teach Ishii and Zambrano where the strike zone is, too.)   Health Bell should always come out of the bullpen before Manny Aybar.   

And for the love of God, please let Carlos Beltran run.  I don't care who bats behind him.  What the hell is the point of spending all this money on a 30-30 guy if you don't let him steal?  Did I mention I'd like to manage the team?

Goddamn it.   Why is everyone so down on Jae Seo?  We got one halfway decent righty out of the bullpen and a scrub who had a 5+ ERA last year for someone that went 8-2 2.59...  Maybe he had leprocy and I just didn't notice.  If he did, then this was a good trade. 

Link: ESPN.com - MLB - Seo headed to L.A. as Dodgers, Mets swap pitchers.

LOS ANGELES -- The Los Angeles Dodgers, in search of starting pitching, acquired right-hander Jae Seo and left-handed reliever Tim Hamulack from the New York Mets on Wednesday for right-handed relievers Duaner Sanchez and Steve Schmoll.

Seo, a 28-year-old South Korean, made 14 starts for the Mets last season, going 8-2 with a 2.59 ERA. He walked 16 and struck out 59 in 90 1/3 innings. He also spent time with Triple-A Norfolk.

Link: New York Daily News - Home - Submariner Bradford drops into Mets' relief corps.

I think I speak for all former wiffleballers everywhere when I say that its great to have someone with a ridiculous windup back in the mets bullpen.

Let's bring back Jeff Innis while we're at it.  How's this for a stat?  In 1991, he pitched 69 games -- 84 innings... and didn't have a win or a save.  He had a 2.66 ERA and a 1.05 WHIP.  Anybody know what he's up to now?

  Entering last night's games, we were a tie ahead of the team behind us for the last and final spot in our division for the playoffs.  We played at 6:30, which made it difficult for most of our team to show up, so we had to start off shorthanded, playing 5 on 6.  Backs against the wall, Dodge This! came out firing, wiping the floor with our first opponent despite being short, 14-5.  We wound up taking 3 our of the 4 games in our match, and the only way we could have missed the playoffs was if the team behind us went 4-0.  Well, we nearly did miss, since they went 3-1 in the late came, which we got word of this morning.  We play next Sunday night 3/13 at 7:50 at Martin Luther King on 65th and Amsterdam against Dodgy McShady, who we beat twice last night pretty handily and Get Outta Dodge.  If we win we might face the obnoxious purple team, Balls of Furry.  D-O-D... G-E...  Dodge This!!!  woooooooooo

This is quite concerning...   I just went and ordered "The Seat".

Link: Serious Riders, Your Bicycle Seat May Affect Your Love Life - New York Times.

A raft of new studies suggest that cyclists, particularly men, should be careful which bicycle seats they choose.

The studies add to earlier evidence that traditional bicycle saddles, the kind with a narrow rear and pointy nose, play a role in sexual impotence.