So, after a haircut yesterday, I came to terms a very difficult problem. Its a problem that many people take a long time to confront. No one wants it to happen to them, but when it does, I think the best thing to do is to be open and honest about it.
I'm losing my hair.
There. I said it. To be honest, I knew it was coming eventually. It was only a matter of time. It was thin to begin with, particularly upfront. Now its creeping way up there in the corners and trying to circle back around, cutting off the supply lines to the beleaguered troops on the front lines. By combing it back in my normal style, I only made it more difficult to hide. People noticed and had been noticing the thinness for some time. It would show up in a dimly restaurant if I was sitting directly under a light, which would throw back a bit too much shine for someone without a sparsity issue. Hairspray and gel became a non-starter. Can't have these guys clumping up on me... Not enough to go around. Spread out guys... Make the place look crowded. Can't tell people its a slow night. Once you lose your customers, there's no bringing them back.
Well, now that I've come to terms with it, pretty early, to my credit, if I might add, what do I do about it? Without question, there will be no hats, comb arounds, unders, overs or throughs. There will be no creams, shampoos, pills, or rinses. No hair will be brought in from the outside, be it from other places on my body, other heads, animals, or from a lab or factory. No, we built this franchise from inside and we're not going to get into the business of signing high priced free agents that might not pan out. I will not have my head become the '93 Mets.
No, we're going with what we have, and actually even less than that. Sometime before dodgeball on Sunday, I'm getting a buzzcut. This way, I won't have to worry about it. It will be my way of saying, "Hey, we weren't up to this full head of hair business. We tried... gave it our best shot, but it just wasn't in the cards. You know, maternal grandfather and all... There was nothing to be done about it."
I'm confident about this decision, too. You never really see anyone with a buzz that anyone says looks bad. Thinning hair and attempts to hide it, no matter how valiant, however, always look bad. So that's it. This is the way its going to be around here from now on, and there are a lot worse things I could be dealing with. I'm happy, I'm healthy, and come sometime this week, I'm not going to have very much hair. Problem? Not at all. I'm over it.